A girl in love will do just about anything for her man, but there are 13 phrases to never say to your girl unless you’re looking for trouble.
“Have You Gained a Little Weight?”
Even if she was super skinny before, never tell her she has gained weight. Trust me, she knows if she has gained weight and this will come across as telling her she’s “fat.” It doesn’t matter if the weight gain is good and makes her look healthier, this is just a phrase you never say. Is she gaining weight due to depression or are you worried about her health? Then you need to address the root cause of the problem – and her weight will not be the problem. You can address her sadness, her food addiction, her lack of exercising by offering to go on a healthy lifestyle plan with her; but do not tell her she looks fat!
“My Mother Does It Like This …”
Your girlfriend is not your mother and all she will hear when you say this phrase is: “You’re not good enough.” Your mom may be the most wonderful woman in the world, but you don’t want to create a battle line between the two most important girls in your life. We like that your mom is your role model, but we were raised a little differently and we want to know that you think we’re OK just the way we are.
“Let’s Go See My Mom – Again”
Being there for your mom and helping her out is very sweet. Being too dependent on your mom and not being able to go a few days without her, or asking for her advice on your relationship, is not a good thing. When a guy shows that he hasn’t cut the apron strings, we begin to worry that we’ll never be No. 1 in his life. We suddenly start to worry about whether we are “good enough” and what this other woman thinks of us.
“I Prefer You To Do It Like This …”
If your girl is trying her best, never ever, like ever, criticize her. It’s better to wait until she’s not around and then fix it the way you like it, or toughen up and adapt to it in the moment. No one is perfect and we all do things differently, but if you criticize her when she’s trying hard, she’ll give up and stop doing things for you.
“My Family Doesn’t Really Like You”
Even if your family dislikes her, she does not need to know this. This is between you and them, not her and them. Never put her in the middle of that fight. You picked her, they have to accept that. If you bring her into that contentious spot, she’s likely to bolt as she begins wondering how they will treat your future children.
“My Ex Use To Do That”
This is bad – always. If it’s a special moment, you’ve likely just lost all trust from your girlfriend. It’s hurtful to know you’re still thinking about “the other girl.” If it’s something that is bad that your ex used to do, your new girlfriend will feel like a failure. Either way, you lose.
“That Was In My Past”
Some things need to be left in the past. She doesn’t need to know how many girls you dated or kissed. If she asks, tell her you just can’t remember and that she is the only one for you so it doesn’t matter. There are some things you need to fess up to: illegal activities, drug use, previous marriages and STDs for example.
“But The Game Is On”
We know that in that moment the football game is more important than your girl – but you shouldn’t tell her that. Prior to the game, let her know it’s coming on and at what time. Let her know how long it will be and where you’re watching it. Hopefully she’ll give you the time and space to watch it. If not, smile and listen to the keywords coming out of her mouth so you can repeat them to her later!
“Just Relax”
If a woman is mad, this will just make her madder. This tells her that you don’t respect the reasons behind her anger and you’re not willing to put in the effort to make it better. This come across as saying “You’re not worth this argument.”
“I Don’t Like Your Friends”
You may not like her friends but they were likely there before you so make an effort to tolerate them. If you start separating her from friends, her friends will talk her into believing that you are being controlling – if this is true, she needs to dump you. If you’re not controlling and her friends are a bad influence on her, you have to slowly help her find new, better friends and new hobbies that don’t include the old friends. She’ll eventually decide which path to take and you never have to be the bad guy.
“You’re Being Insecure”
If a woman is being jealous, look at the reason behind it. Are you talking to another girl that is prettier? Are you texting other women? It’s likely that her insecurity is based on your actions. If she’s insecure because of her own inner conflicts, help her through them by building up her self-esteem, not by criticizing her. If that doesn’t work, and her insecurity is out of control, you may need to leave the relationship until she gets help.
“Your Friend/Sister/Neighbor is Pretty/Really Sweet/Attractive”
This should get you slapped and will cause her months and months of sleepless nights wondering if you’d rather date the person you are complimenting. It’s good that her friend is nice, but it’s better to say, “Your friend is really nice to you. I can see why you hang out with her.” It’s never under any circumstances OK to say another woman is attractive. When she asks if you think someone is, say “I guess, but she’s nothing compared to you.”
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